The Scoobies fix OUaT
by CMiller13
Summary: When watching a favorite show only to see it take a down turn, the Scoobs, Fang gang and Slayers rescue their favorites from crappy storylines and plots. (Not OQ or CS friendly possible seem bashy but just a vent fic.)


Disclaimer: I don't own either show. Also while this may seem bashy. This was just to vent my frustration with where the show of once was going by using creative liaisons. This is fairly anti-OQ and anti-CS so if you like either this isn't the story for you. However this is more a parody than anything else.

_**The Scoobies fix OUaT**_

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><p>Sitting in the game room, not a single member of the Scooby nor Fang Gang moved. Spike's and Faith's cigarettes dangled dangerously from their mouths as they watched the train wreck that was this new episode of Once Upon a Time. Buffy and the others all looked at one another before turning back toward the TV. None of them could honestly believe that this show went there.<p>

"The Fuck did I just watch?" Faith's voice filled the room as she glared hard at the TV as the credits for the show rolled. Buffy reached over placing a hand on Faith's shoulder but the dark haired slayer just shrugged it off, "Seriously? 'The fuck? I mean I get needing to get wriggly but why with Forest Stump? At least Captain Handjob has more than one expression. But… what the fuck?"

The scoobs all knew that the Evil Queen was always Faith's favorite character because the Dark Slayer could identify with her. Just like Buffy could identify with the Savior, Spike himself was disgusted with what they did with his favorite character. Hook used to be the bastard that the Big Bad loved but then they turned the character into a Puppy. The Peroxide haired Vamp always says he's love's bitch but seeing how Hook was being portrayed was far too reminiscent to the months after Buffy's resurrection. And that made the bleached Vamp nauseous at the memories, especially because he came to love Buffy as a friend. Angel, himself sighed as he just continued staring blankly at the screen, the original Souled vamp didn't much care for the show any more after they killed off Neal while his demon liked Rumple, Angel could feel that kinship to Neal what with leaving the person they loved because of their destiny.

Pacing Faith started to plan, "Well I don't know about you all but I think we need to go to that dimension and save those folks from the pure stupidity that is the writing of the show. I mean seriously, they spend two plus seasons showing that Henry the boy that brought them all together is the one Regina loves most then the turn around and show a possibility of her being with Forest Stump the adultlaw back in the past and now she what wants to go that route which means no Dimples McCute, Henry the Believer or Orphan Savior?"

Angel sighed, "Even if we could, Faith why would they believe us?" He didn't like the idea of where the show was going and if this was supposedly a family show then good god the fact that two little boys seemed to be sidelined because of this stupid story line.

"Well that's a good question but maybe logic will work on them in that verse. I mean what we see is a byproduct of the writers and editors and producers there has to be more to it than just that or did you forget that time team Free Will popped in?" Everyone remembered the two Hunters that cheered at meeting the Slayers and learning that in another dimension they were real and not just a show that used to be on TV.

Willow rubbed her hands together, "So what's the plan?"

Hearing them speak, Giles had to speak up, "Now wait a moment…"

"What if someone came to you saying you would Lose B's trust not once but twice because of some of your choices and they gave you the option to keep it from happening?"

"Very well."

The groups got together to find each point in the show where they could jump dimensions to get through to each character and be able to bring them back. It was decided that Willow would go place Neal's body in status moments before the soul can leave his body but he will still have appeared dead to the Savior and the Dark One. That way they could keep the timeline, the redheaded witch would also make something appear like Neal's body so that the Storybrooke folks can have something to bury.

Next Faith was going to drop in before Forest Stump could drunk kiss Regina. Of all of them, the scoobs all agreed that Faith would be the one to either get through to the Queen or piss off the former Mayor enough to just listen to the Slayer. While Buffy having the savior complex would be working on the blonde savior, if both of the Chosen Two succeed at their respective counter parts then Willow will pop them to Henry and they will all head back. If they succeed being the operative words.

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><p>Willow stayed hidden while the Wicked Witch, the Dark One and the Savior stood around the body, she had already placed Neal's body in status and had his soul safe so that she can return it. She found that her magic worked differently than those in this world. She had goddess level power in her world but it seemed to while still be that strong here, it seemed to have shifted a little to hide her power from other powers in this world.<p>

Once they were all gone, the Red Witch first transformed a rock to look and weight as much as the body, she then popped herself and Neal's actual body out of there. Willow returned them to the Slayer's dimension before she changed the episode on the TV and sent Faith to the exact moment Hood entered the Vault the second time.

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><p>Popping in to Regina's vault in a flash of white light, Faith appeared behind Forest Stump the Dark Slayer saw the confusion on the former Queen's face. Smirking darkly, Faith tapped Hood on the shoulder. The drunk forest man turned towards the tap in confused frustration only to be met with a fist to the face. The Slayer chuckled as she watched the idiot drop like a rock, "Well that sure made me feel loads better." Lifting her eyes and flashing her dimples at the shocked Queen, "Now onto the bone I have to pick with you…"<p>

Regina quirked a brow after recomposing herself at first seeing a woman appear from a white flash of light then punch her soulmate out cold, "Oh are you one of the countless hundreds that I cursed dear?"

Laughing, "Oh Fuck no or did you miss my flashy entrance?" The slayer crossed her arms before stepping on then over the Forest lump. The Lump groaned but didn't move otherwise, "So like I said I have a bone to pick with you…"

"And what would that be dear?" Regina asked in a regal tone the woman before her both had her intrigued but very annoyed which could be a very bad thing for the woman.

Faith quirked a brow right back at the Queen, "You really willing to be reduced to the other fuckin' woman for Forest boy here? And really why don't ya think about the fact yer boy or even his boy are seemingly without their parents?"

The comment about both Henry and Roland put Regina on edge, "How do you know about them?" A fireball appeared in her hand as she studied the other woman, "And if you harm a hair on either's head…"

"I wouldn't hurt a kid so calm the fuck down. But my comment remains the same, where is his son, while the boy's mother is frozen solid and dumb fuck here is down here trying to get a taste of yer forbidden fruit." Faith snarked at her, "After all he was about ta make ya into nothin' better than the other woman. Had he ya know chose you over his wife, that would be different but he went back to his wife then decides to string you along because he wants his cake and to eat it too."

The Queen glared at this woman because the words she was stating rang true, "He's my soulmate."

"Oh fuck that. Ya know the concept of soulmates can mean many forms right?" The slayer rolled her eyes, "I mean seriously you have to be fucked in the head to buy that shit. After all you changed from the moment he was said to be yer soulmate. Would you really say now you are enough like then you to still be soulmates with him?"

Regina didn't want the words to hold true but that didn't stop her from truly thinking about it for the first time since seeing that damning tattoo. She also didn't like that this interloper was the one making her see this. Glaring at the woman worthy of her Evil Queen days, she spoke, "Even if I were to believe you why would I?"

"Because you and I are far more similar that you think. Yea I'm a crude Bostonian street rat and yer Royalty but when it comes down to fucked up pasts they both line up." Faith ran her hand through her hair before continuing, "After all we don't gain nicknames like The Dark Slayer or The Evil Queen for nothin'."

Regina blinked slowly before shaking her head, "No, you're Faith from that campy vampire slayer show?"

Faith laughed brightly, "Yeah, I learned that B got her own show when Team Free Will popped in. You know that other campy supernatural show that still on the air."

"So what you came here how?" The former Queen was now more intrigued than annoyed.

The Slayer quirked brow, "Because yer lives are a show in my dimension and let me tell ya it is a really crappy telling… of adultery and hints of rape culture." Crossing her arms, Faith sighed, "You see instead of focusing on the fact that you can help yer boy's other ma, the show forces people to _enjoy _Captain Handjob and Forest Stump not know that no means no."

Regina coughed to cover her desire to laugh at the Slayer's nickname for Hook and, as much as she didn't want to admit it, Robin. "So what you're here to stop it?" She asked somewhat sarcastically.

"Yup. Though the choice is yers see, me and my friends' hate how yers, yer boy's and yer savior's story is going plus we all hated that yer boy lost his father before really getting to know the man. So we moved through the timeline to keep some of it intact but still ya get the choice to continue to be fate's bitch or come to our world with us. This of course includes yer boy, his ma and pop."

Studying the woman, who she found out was actually one of the characters she sympathized with on her guilty pleasure show, Regina had to wonder if this was a good idea but honestly she didn't know but then if what Faith said was true than she would rather go along with this insane plan than lose her dignity and be reduced to the other woman. "Very well, so what we have to meet wi—" before her sentence was completed, she and Faith were swept up in a flash of white light.

Faith had text Willow when she had seen the decision pass through Regina's eyes. _[Text] Mission accomplish beam us up Scotty._

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><p>Across town on a cliff overseeing Storybrooke, Emma sat in her car with tears staining her face. She didn't even noticed the flash of light followed by her passenger car door open. She was so, lost in her head as she replayed the moment the lamp fell on her father.<p>

Buffy glanced at the savior, "They don't always understand do they? To have the weight of the world on your shoulders that you can be in a crowded room of every person that you love and loves you and yet still feel so alone."

Emma jumped slightly before glancing to see, "Holy Shit it's Sarah Michelle Geller…" She blinked and rubbed her eyes to try and prove to herself that the famous Buffy actress was indeed sitting next to her.

"No, I'm actually Buffy. But the likeness is scary isn't it?" The Californian Slayer punned before smiling at the other blonde, "But that's neither here nor there."

"Buffy's real? If you tell me the Easter Bunny's real too I'm gone." Shaking her head.

"Well… actually the Easter Bunny's a demon." Shrugging sheepishly, "We learned that not long after Anya died. But I can say I understand her bunny fear now."

Emma's eyes widened even more, "Nope… that's… no like no… Seriously? What the hell?! How the Hell are you so calm about that?!"

"Because it's an everyday sort of thing for me." Buffy replied not the least bit fazed by the Savior's reaction, "But how about we talk about why I'm here."

"Well you can quite possible be a figment of my imagination…" Getting a half strength slayer punch to the shoulder, "But then again figments can't touch you… ow."

"So Not a figment then?"

"Not a figment."

Buffy smiled brightly, "Glad we cleared that up. Now onto the important talk. You see your life has been messed with…"

"Yeah I know, destined to be the Savior to bring back the happy endings." Emma recited as if on autopilot.

Buffy shrugged, "One Girl in all the world… see we both have speeches that we have heard over and over again thus have memorized. But that's not it, see in my world your life is a TV show and well let's just say the writers not so good."

"Huh…"

"For a family show there's adultery and implied Rape Culture…" She explained.

Emma blinked, "Um what?"

"Hook, not such a good guy…" The slayer explained, "If my life was a show in this world than you must have seen what happened with Spike after I was brought back. That's Hook."

"No…"

"Where you even remotely interested in him before he told you he traded his ship for you?"

Emma shook her head having completely forgot about her out of control powers, "Not… really…"

"And yet…" Buffy answered, "He comes off as the only one that understands? The only one cheering for you?"

Emma nodded slowly as she listened.

"How about the only one that will listen? Yeah I've been there. Spike was like that before he got his soul and it wasn't all that pretty." Shaking her head, "But My friends and I are offering you, your son and his other mom plus his father a way out."

"Neal's dead."

"Yes we know but see using the show and the episode he died in we saved his body and soul so now once he's in our world we can bring him back." She explained.

Emma shook her head, "But what about my parents and my brother?"

"They can visit but honestly. You, Regina, Neal and Henry got icky storylines."

Emma thought about it as much as she was happy to have her parents in her life, they got a fresh start with her little brother. "As long as they can visit… yeah that sounds fine."

Buffy smiled before calling up Willow, "Alright Wills, come get us." A flash of white light filled the bug before the two blonde heroes found themselves standing opposite their respective brunettes.

Smiling at Faith, Buffy teased, "I see you thoroughly pissed her off enough to come with you."

Smirking back with dimples and a wink, "You know me B. If I don't piss someone off a day my day feels incomplete."

"Is that why you still push my buttons?"

"Nah, you're just easy to rile and far more fun once you are." Flashing her leering smirk at the blond slayer which caused even after all these years, the blonde to flush.

Regina and Emma watched in mild curiosity as they watched the two flirt. Before a redhead popped in with Henry. Regina spoke first, "Henry? Are you okay?"

The teen grinned, "Yeah that was really cool and I mean really cool." He smiled at Willow before blushing a little at the return smile, "and Ms. Willow's been really nice. She said we'd be going somewhere where we could be together without you two…"

Willow finished, "Defraying their character any more than they already have been." She smiled brightly at the two women, "Neal's body is back in our world and in the infirmary waiting for the ritual."

"Ritual what ritual?" Both women asked as the two slayers just shrugged.

"Well it's like this see we're going to need you two and your son plus Buffy, Faith and Angel there for this to work. But I'll explain more when we get there."

Smiling brightly at all, Willow started to mutter as the nonexistent wind started to kick up around them, the red head's hair turning white as just before the flash of light the door to the apartment opened. But the six were gone before Snow, Elsa, Hook and Charming could cross to them.

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><p>Back in at Slayer central, everyone moved away from the circle as six shapes started to form inside it. The two slayers groaned as they stepped out still hating that way of travel, "Red next time rip the fuckin' hole in the universe I don't care. It'd be easier on the stomach."<p>

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><p>I don't know if I'll do more on this or not but I just needed to vent.<p> 


End file.
